I am the same age as Judy McL. 65 and, alas, I agree with her. Empathy does not appear to have been taught (by example or otherwise) to most men - certainly not in my generation and it sounds like yours is not giving me much hope either. That said, I am a poet on Medium...and, perhaps it's being called to be a POET of all things - no glamour or big followings - but the male poets I read of all ages, even mine, are lovely human beings. If you'd like, I can write a poem that segues into sharing your story. And perhaps other poets can do as I did and donate.

SO sorry to learn about your mother. Hugs