I understand, Lori. ABSOLUTELY. And I'm not merely referring to my ex partner the philanderer! Today, though, I read these words...which help.

”Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love even more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a stronger plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds."

~ Henri Nouwen, from The Inner Voice of Love

What is also helping a TON. Taking "A Course in Miracles" online class for 2023 w/ Robert and Hollie Holden. Highly recommend!