I'm a "nasty Modern Elder" too! But my path was much different than yours. It took me DECADES and DECADES to stop being a girly people pleaser. It took being knocked to my knees and a quest to figure out the whole point of life - plus finding the courage to leave an affluent marriage where my ex definitely felt he was "king" - to help me find my true nasty self. A lot of my longtime pals and family members now find me "weird" or "woo hoo" but I am loving this journey called life. Finally!