Joe, unsolicited advice which I am 10,000 percent certain you already know - So this is meant as Reassurance. the only way to make peace w/ grief is to go thru it. (I say this as one who's endured the death of a spouse, albeit this death was thru infidelity I never saw coming) As I've told myself, deep grief is a crucifixion but we CAN resurrect...albeit the scars (like Christ's) remain. xox